it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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