I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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