my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
