I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
