I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
