I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
