I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
