I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
