ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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