I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
