Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
farters have to be the big spoon...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
