He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
