He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
