i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
