Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Found the puke drawer
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
