who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When are your genitals available?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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