My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
