So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
