she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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