I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
