i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
