11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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