i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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