As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
