Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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