Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
