Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
love makes seman taste better
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
