Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
