Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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