I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
