you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
