Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
