There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
