HIV tests are more positive than that guy
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
