a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We are all done wearing pants today
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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