ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
