ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
