Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
