I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
