I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
