I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
