Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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