wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
