Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
