"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
