Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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