is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
