He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
