I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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