got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
